Oscar 2013 Threesome Combos inspired by Melanie Lynskey

During the early 2013 awards season, the beautiful and talented and not to mention fellow Antipodean Melanie Lynskey tweeted the following:

Spent  dreaming up ideal threesome combinations.The nominees are: JLo/Dave Grohl; Miguel/Adele; Mumford/Mulligan; Prince/Frank Ocean

I was bored during the Oscars this year, so I investigated the crowd for talent for my own personal casting couch. The proverbial duos who would make the party a 3-way. Here are my observations:

Justin Theroux/Jennifer Aniston – How they make love on the prettier, cooler, richer, boho side of the tracks.
Daniel Day-Lewis/Charlize Theron – All legs, those two. Legs wrapped around me.
Christoph Waltz/Kristen Stewart – His intellectual energy + her sultry sulking = fireworks.
Jean Dujardin/Octavia Spencer – These two would be as fun as they come.
Eddie Redmayne/Adele – Ginger ninjas from ye olde England.
Samuel L. Jackson/Samantha Barks – has the making of a great QT script. Speaking of which,
Quentin Tarantino/Sally Field – Kinky enough to be the making of a great QT script.
Suraj Sharma/Catherine Zeta-Jones – Here’s to you, Mrs Douglas.
Joseph Gordon Levitt/Sandra Bullock – His sly angst, her alpha dominance – I like it.
Denzel Washington/Naomi Watts – All that beauty in one bed? HOT.
Robert De Niro/Jennifer Hudson – You know he’d be all over that.

Reese Witherspoon/Jennifer Lawrence – Blonde southern belle double fantasy.
Naomie Harris/Halle Berry – Nobody Does It Better – 007 would know.
Queen Latifah/Zoe Saldana – You know she’d be all over that.
Amanda Seyfried/Jamie Foxx’s daughter – All eyes and hair and perfect bodies.

Tommy Lee Jones/Jamie Foxx – The battle of the Texans! And I am the field on which they spar.
Steven Spielberg/Ang Lee – Nerdgasm!
George Clooney/Ben Affleck – We were all thinking this at some point.
Joaquin Phoenix/John Travolta – JT’s 747 + JP speaking in tongues = a John Waters classic.
Chris Evans/Channing Tatum – It would be like having sex with clones.
Hugh Jackman/Bradley Cooper – It would be like having sex with clones.

 

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